I Been Hoodooed

Finished all my classes!

So next semester I have to take a Gen Ed class. The classes are so incredibly ridiculous, I chose one called "Living With The Undead". It's all about Vampires. LOL.

So I've been thinking a lot about BSG lately. I just want to point out that if there is anyone out there who doesn't know what to give me for Christmas and they have no money, a burned copy of season 1 & 2 of BSG would be magical, you'd just have to find someone who owns it. Wink wink.

Also, a bong would be cool too.

This is dedicated to my menstrual cycle:

But you can't will youself happy
You can't will your cunt wet
You can't keep standing at the station
pretending you're being met
You can't wear a sign, that says "yours"
When that ain't, what you get

Aw, Ani, I wish I went to that concert with Ang and Sarah ;_;.

Where's Jojo?

Sometimes I think about my friends. The best friends I've ever had. Sometimes I wonder if they think of me, if they think of each other. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. We used to be so close, we were all innocent, and we were all evil. We still are, but now we're all grown up, inflicting our insanity on the new people in our lives rather than each other. Sometimes we'd drive each other crazy. Maybe we drove each other away. I think we just grew apart.

Still. This is what the process of life is. Gaining new experiences. Becoming different people. There is no point in dwelling in what used to be. I don't miss any bygone days between us. The most wonderful friends I had, will ever have, will always love, more than anyone else. Yet, the time we spend together and the time we spend apart do not matter to me.

Witnessing these people go through new experiences in their lives, wonderful experiences, terrible experiences. Seeing them love each other, hate each other. All this does not trouble me in the least. It's not because of a lack of caring, or because we are all so distanced from one another now. I simply enjoy seeing every one you be yourselves, do all those delightful and insane things I know you're capable of doing. Live your life to the fullest, whether or not you find yourselves enveloped in grief, anger, love, or joy.

In some ways, I prefer we all leave the nest of the posse, rather than frolic amongst ourselves: show the world how amazing each of us are, rather than selfishly keep it between us.

I know we've all been hurt by each other. Been upset with one another and fought. We've all been angry and had our spats.

I always thought the most beautiful act a human could do was to forgive. We forgive each other not because we need it, but because the other person does. To forgive. To give. The most generous act a person could do.

My friends. They could hurt each other. They could hurt themselves. They could even try and hurt me. It wouldn't matter. There is never a moment when they are not forgiven in my eyes. I've reached a point where I don't think I could be mad at them, even if I tried, no matter what they do.

I've been thinking a lot about love and friendship lately. I'm not the most social person. I only go out of my way to make friends if I feel a real connection to someone. I'm not one for superficial friendships, ones that only last a year.

And there is romantic love. The older I get, the more I wonder if I've ever truly loved another being like that. Every time I thought I was in love it only brought me pain and heartbreak. I lost who I was. I wonder if maybe it was because I didn't truly love them, so I had to be something I wasn't. And there is loneliness. To be honest, I've never been truly lonely. Sure, my vagina is lonely some days. Sometimes no matter how loving and beautiful sex can be, it doesn't mean there is any real love behind it, I know now. As a woman it can be so easy to get confused between love and sex. I have so much love to give, but it always feels so much better when I give it to myself, rather than someone who could unthinkingly toss it away. Sometimes I wonder if there is any need for that kind of a love anymore.

But no matter what future romances life has in store for me, nothing will ever exceed the love I hold for the posse. It's a love that doesn't need to be reassured, or make any grand gestures, or go out of its way to prove itself. It just sits there, unfading and motionless. When the rest of you are old, have forgotten about the posse, have forgotten me, it won't matter. It’s not the memories I love; it’s a love that is always active and present. When you all cease to care, I won't mind, I'll still love all of you. The purest love, the only love that will last forever.

I never was a writer.

If you're ever in a relationship that's making you doubt yourself then that's NO GOOD!

So what do you do if you're in a relationship that makes you feel guilty about who you are?

First, you say NO, then, you get outta there!

If anyone wants to know about my messed up night at the rave... Drop me a line on my cell or home phone.

I HAVE NO A/C! I HAVE NO A/C! AHH! AHH! OoooOh, WhAT thE FucK? *meeelts*

EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS VIDEO:

AND I NEED YOU TO WATCH THIS VIDEO! AND I NEED YOU TO WATCH IT FOREVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_l63p4CBWc

the flying angel is the best, even though the ninjas are awesome as well.

Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do- a total eclipse of the heart!

Also, once all this school shit is done (good lord) I'm going to watch the Princess Bride, because it's such an awesome movie and I've had the urge to watch it. Also, it's an 80's flick. And you all know how I feel... about the 80's...

So I was in my garage and I found a magical old record of David Bowie's LETS DANCE album. It's in my room now, even though I am not able to play it. I will keep it by my side for the rest of my life.

Today my mom said "I'm gonna make brownies" and she did and it was awesome. And I said to her "Wait, what are we having for dinner, just brownies?" She was mad because I forgot we ate pasta not that long ago.

*EATS BROWNIE*

Everyone wish me luck that I don't die in the next week.

I like my O.J. without the pulp, please!

So lately I have been thinking about everyone and anyone who has tried drugs (any kind of recreational drugs: pot, E, shrooms, acid, etc). Why is it that every person who does or has tried one or more of these drugs seems to think they know everything about it? When I ask about the physical and mental side effects of drugs I get a different answer from everyone. Not to mention that when I tell one person about another person's account on the harmful effects of specific drugs, they immediately disclaim their theories (ex: one person says shrooms make your brain bleed, the next person says shrooms do not damage your brain at all, another person says shrooms poison you). One thing I have learned is this: you can't trust anyone to tell you the truth behind what drugs can really do to you because know one really knows. Nobody has ever told me a legitimate source of where they get their information from (and no, your best friend isn't a credible source, and even websites like wikipedia can be sketchy at best). So I have a question: why act like you have a monopoly on the knowledge of drugs? Maybe we all have to consider that drugs are outside our realm of understanding (because they are magical!) because everyone will give you a different version of what they think. Or maybe drugs users need to all come to a unanimous agreement on what drugs can really do to you, instead of always disagreeing with each other.

Jojo, I expect you to tell me something wise!

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!

So today I decided I would JOG because I want to be healthier. Which was a mistake, because it gave me an ENORMOUS appetite and I have eaten the shittiest food all day which includes but is not limited to:

- a box of Macain's mini bagel pizza things (which are really shitty btw, and I'm never buying again)
- mass amounts of carbonated beverages
- a skor blizzard at DQ
- cheesecake (/w whipped cream on top -_-)

FUCK YOU EXERCISE! YOU ARE NOT HEALTHY!

So yesterday at around 6-7 pm I adopted an inch worm. I had it crawling on my arm because I thought it was pretty cute. Then I forgot about it for an hour until I remembered I forgot to take it off my arm so I assumed it just fell off. Then just a few minutes ago I saw it crawling around the hem of my shirt O_o I am 100% positive it is the same worm. The only difference about the worm from before is that it looked a lot crazier and all it's black fuzzies were gone. -_- Honestly, I just felt bad for the worm.

Dear Satan,

I tip the hat on my ass in your direction.

Shoppingly, Lauren

So just like Angela I have given up drugs AND I have decided to stop buying junk food! (Tim Hortons is the exception). But I want to stop wasting my money on stupid shit that is unhealthy for me. No. NOooooooooOO!

So today on the Bus from Hamilton into Dundas I saw a gansta who had a baby with a matching bandana. -_-. There was a baby in Dundas who said hi to me and it was cute. BUT KITTENS ARE CUTER.

I'm really sorry Sarah. I got a Myspace account. Well, if I quit drugs and McDonalds then I have to balance out the evils in my life somehow.

This is a question for all.

How do you ask a person you are unfamiiar with if they are straight or gay? I don't want to flirt with this dude if he's gay, and I am geting some gay vibes. What is the best possible way of getting around this without being rude?

Okay, so I rarely speak up about these things. I know there has been a lot of LJ drama recently concerning drugs and raves, so I thought I would offer my opinion in case anyone was interested.

I went to the rave, had a lot of sober fun, was sailor moon to many a raver. I was disappointed that Jojo, Ang, Kelly, and Aaron didn't come. But there wasn't anything I could do right? Well, maybe I could've, but I chose to go to the rave instead. And there isn't much point in me ragging on Bailey for choosing to go to the rave, because obviously I went too, and saying that she shouldn't have gone would make me a hypocrite. So I probably don't have much to say.

Or do I?

What happened at the rave, that I did not know at the time, is that Bailey, from what I've heard, casually dismissed Kelly and told him to find his own way home by himself. And if that's true, I do have a lot to complain about. And if I had known at the time that out of Ang, Jojo, Kelly, Aaron, none of them knew their way back to the GO station I can honestly say that I would have, at the very least, offered to walk them there (even though I don't know shit about Toronto).

Because you never, ever, leave your friends in an unsafe place or situation without knowing whether or not they have a safe way home. Never. It's just human decency.

And it's not just raves. I was once pretty drunk, and I asked Bailey "could you please walk me home?". She said no. I thought I was her friend. I was really upset and pissed off after that, that she could not have taken ten fucking minutes out of her precious time to see her friend home safely. She was with Ang and Zach, and they were pretty drunk too, but neither of them seemed opposed to the idea.

So why didn't she take the little time to see her friend home safely? Well, obviously, you're going to ask her. I can't say for sure. Maybe it's because Zach needed to be home, and we all know that Zach comes first. Although, I think if Zach's mom knew that they had needed to take 10 extra minutes to see their friend home safely she would not have minded, because despite what Zach likes to think, his mom is really nice.

Or maybe the reason that she could not have said "yes" is because on that very night she was going to do E with Ang and Zach. Huh. So I do know what it feels like to have drugs put before me.

Or maybe the reason why my so called friend couldn't even see me home safely was because maybe Bailey doesn't even consider me as a friend. Well that might explain a few things. Then again, I'm starting to wonder if Bailey considers anyone other than Zach a true friend. Then again, seeing as he likes to buy her drugs, I wonder if she's just using him.

Who knows. Man. Who knows.

For semen facial masque:
Skeet skeet
Wait 15 minutes
Rinse with warm water

For tired eyes:
Cut two cucumber slices
Place cucumber on your eyes
Leave for 20 minutes